9 expat mindset mistakes to avoid when relocating
Becoming an expat requires a fresh mindset. Done right, you thrive. Done wrong, you crash and burn. I’ve identified nine expat mindset mistakes that are all too easy to make… how many resonate with you?
1. Thinking that if you love your new place after a month you will still love it after ten years.
The initial euphoria that everything is better than home is natural. You’ve taken the initiative and moved to a new place, your adrenaline and excitement can give you a euphoric feeling for the first few weeks. But as time passes the novelty may wear off. Which brings me to the next mistake…
2. Cutting all ties with the past.
New place, new life, new you! Who needs the baggage from the past complicating your exciting new adventure? Hey, not so fast… it is always good to have friends who have known you for more than five minutes. There’s room for old and new friendships in your life.
3. Spending all your evenings at home chatting with friends or updating social media.
Yes, I did just say that you should keep in touch with old friends, but in a new country you aren’t going to meet new people sitting at home. You need to put yourself out there, start a few conversations, get to know your way around, and become comfortable in your new environment. Essentially, being an expat is a balancing act between building new ties, and maintaining the connection with your past.
4. Trying to replicate your old life.
The best place in the world to have British food, British tv and British pubs and British friends is Britain. In a new location, trying to replicate your old life will result in disappointment. Each place has its pros and cons, so try to focus on making the most of the pros. In Dubai for example, the heat can be scorching in the middle of the day, but the 30mins after sunrise is perfect for a morning swim, a jog along the beach, or a bike ride through the desert.
5. Comparing everything with ‘back home’.
We all have a complex set of beliefs, assumptions and attitudes that we use to assess and analyse the world around us. This frame of reference is our sense of ‘normal’. It is very easy to be judgemental and view everything in your new location in relation to your home country – slower-faster/cleaner-dirtier/ruder-friendlier/hotter-colder. But it’s best to shift your mentality to accept your new location on its own terms, and work with it.
6. Assuming your move is the biggest and most exciting news in your friends’ lives.
You’ve made the move, you love it, you don’t miss home at all, and you have made a tonne of new discoveries. Sounds like it’s all working out perfectly! But don’t bore your old friends by ramming all that self-satisfaction down their throats. Their life hasn’t changed, and they won’t just want to hear boasts and anecdotes about how much better your new life is (and by implication how bad their life is in comparison). Be humble, show an interest in what matters to them, ask questions, listen. ‘Wow, you’ve changed’ is not a compliment in this situation!
7. Keeping a holiday mentality when it comes to spending.
Your wallet is filled with a shiny new currency that feels like monopoly money, and there’s a swathe of bars, shops and restaurants to explore with new friends. Sure, the opening couple of weeks can feel like a holiday, but this is your new home, and the sooner you treat it like that the better for your long-term wealth.
8. Signing up to an expat pension or savings plan offered over the phone by a wealth advisor.
Seemingly as soon as you put a local SIM card in your phone in an expat-heavy city, a hoard of wealth advisors, financial ‘experts’ and independent consultants will call you offering offshore pensions, savings transfers and fanciful schemes that promise riches. Avoiding the grip of the UK taxman can sound tempting, and the sales pitch is persuasive, but avoid signing up at all costs!
Do some solid research for a few months and you’ll find far better solutions with far lower costs.
9. Giving up and returning home if expat life isn’t perfect straight away
When you first move, you’ll be out of your comfort zone and for the first few weeks you won’t know how to do things, where to go and who to hang out with. But you get out what you put in. A move won’t solve your problems just like that, but persevere and build your new life. If you then decide this life is not for you, you can leave knowing you gave it everything and left nothing on the table.